Rule #2

You make the first move

I know, I know, in today's society, one that has been molded from several generations of women fighting for their rights, you'd be thinking;

"Well come on, they can vote, they come up and talk to me first."

Actually, I have a faint notion that's not what's going through your head at all. It's probably something more like;

"Look at that girl over there. Should I go up and say something? Like what? How do I look? Does she have a boyfriend here? How big is he? Did she just look at me? Maybe I should go up, no, I'll just chill here for a while"

(Please, someone tell me this awkwardness vanishes sometime in your upperclassman year? Please?)

Anywho, it's obvious you never watched your Disney Princess movies. The guy always, always, ALWAYS, should make the first move. It's romantic, thoughtful, makes us feel good, and confident, and sexy.

Trust me, you want us to feel sexy.

Making the first move very much depends on time and place. However, no matter where you are, it's crucial to never use pick-up lines. We asscioate those with desperate jerks.

So what do you do?

Just come up and say "Hey." If you're at a resturant, ask if you can sit down. If you're in a library make a comment about what she's reading, or ask if she needs help looking for anything. If she begins to ask all those "What are you doing?" questions, just say you noticed her and wanted to come up and say hi. We'll be flattered, really. Even if you are ugly.

Ask for our number. If it's 262-6861, don't bother calling. Same goes for 867-5309.

Then call us. Soon. Don't wait a week. We'll move on in a week unless you're super hot or we're desperate. 48 hours is maximum time. 36 is even better.

Insecurity racks us all at this point, girls are just as worried as you are. What if he's a jerk, what if he doesn't call, maybe he's a player? But we do expect you to take those first three steps. After which, we will happily reassure your fears that, yes, we do like you too.

Unless we don't like you, in which case a number of things can happen ranging from us pretending we like you as to not make you feel bad, to us ending things rather abbruptly.

We tend to be very hard to read if we do or don't like you.
But that's another lesson.

Rule #1
There is no female rule book.

At least, there is no universally accepted, totally reliable, guaranteed to work every time, same for every woman rule book.

And who knows? Some of these rules may apply to major amounts of the opposite sex as well.

Anywho, to give a little formal welcoming introduction, this is a men's user book. The girls already know the rules after all, and we delight in having you find them out- sometimes.

Sometimes, however, you are awfully dumb and oblivious and really need some good instruction.

Hence, this blog.

Warning: I, name withheld to protect the innocent, take no responsibility for any failure males using this guide may experience with females. If you are, yelled at, cried at, argue with, slapped, pinched, gutted, roundhouse kicked, teased, spit at, trampled on, hit by a car, run over by rhinos, forced to go shopping with, have your teeth yanked out by/near/under the instruction of a woman, sorry, you can't sue. 'Cause I warned you. Ha ha.